Xian_G's Xanga

Slowly Fallin

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 09:39:15 GMT

Like seriously, I can't take it anymore.

It's too fucking hot.

Almost fainted 2 days in a row while walking home.

Diu, it's not even summer yet ffs.

& seriously, my ipod can take and throw at dog already. fucking hanged for 2 times already.

luckily I finished watching all the episodes my sister put into my ipod for me. awww. ILY

but it has to be restored, which means, no movies for me. ):

must be the heat must be the heat.

and maybe soon my baby will blow up too, need to get it a fan.

urghhhhhhhhhh.

oh. more damage to my bank account. $65 for all my tickets. zone 1, zone 2 and weekend. the guy at the counter was laughing when I told him what tickets I wanted and asked if I needed anything else.

maybe I should explore Melbourne. : D

nah, I don't wanna faint while doing it. sigh.

daddy, can I buy a car now? : D

SLK would be just fine. or I don't mind a z4.

ok fine, maybe just a compressor. : D

Monday, November 09, 2009

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 11:30:41 GMT

They are unhappy, does this mean something? Because they are seldom unhappy with things.

sigh.

I miss my longgggggggggggg hair ):

It's time to decide.

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 04:56:09 GMT

I wonder how does it feels to be a loner.

Is it really that bad? Is that why friends exist, why people get married? to keep each other accompany?

bah, back to nerding.

Suppose

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 03:13:01 GMT

While I was on Jie's msn yesterday together with his Dota mates, well. they didn't know I wasn't him. so I just played along & cocked with them (half the time I didn't know wtf they were talking about) from pokemons to football to leah dizon (wait, I brought that up) to they were trying to guess if I were a guy / girl no matter how hard Jagjit tried to convince them that I am a girl.

So, this Ryan dude asked. "will you prefer a long but fake or a short but real relationship?" obviously he was testing to see if I were a guy/ girl so I just answered something really ridiculous, something I believed what guys these days are like.

But his answer was stupid. "Confirm girl, because any guy would answer COCK QUESTION" wtf! but in the end he said I am a guy because of what I answered. -.- Heck, it was on purpose heck. for the fun of it. since everyone in there talk cock anyways. ;)

So anyways, he then said normally guys would answer short but real. then it got me thinking wouldn't everyone want that? as I thought further, I believe most girls would choose long but fake, because girls are always in denial. we see it (the break up) coming, but we choose to ignore that thought and just pretend everything is a-okay when it's not.

If only we chose to acknowledge its existence & work things out. I wonder what will the outcome be. Because it's normally that we acknowledge it, its too late, its over. -.-

Friends often say, when it comes to relationship, girls are always the stronger party. but why are guys emotinally weak. If your relationship is not heading to the marriage direction, let go & move on. but then again, we are only 20, who are we to judge. who are we to know whatthefuck is ahead of us?

& they all say, outsiders can always see things clearer. is that always true? heck, don't we all whine when things are fucked? but we never shared the happy thoughts. so what these people see are just pure "isn't it obvious you are not happy. blablabla. it had always been like that, why bother anymore. blablabla" and then it get you thinking why the fuck are these people keep bringing you down instead of being there supporting you like what a friend does. Well, because they don't want to see you suffer? Of course there are friends who will be there to support & stand by you because they themselves once let go of a relationship that got tough & regretted that decision. and because they are your friends, they do not want you to see you in their shoes. but rather fix & patch things up.

now remind me, what was the point of this post again? I honestly don't remember.

but I do know I am tired of hearing all these mean & nasty things (which might be true), but I choose to ignore them. (oh hi living in denial). because I believe we've came this far not just to fuck things up.

and though its been half a year since the last relationship, people still judge. who are you to judge when you know nothing. I depise people who only listened to one party & then make their own conclusion. get a life. so what if I were the topic of discussion. I believe things happen for a reason. & the reason of it happening was. . . . even daddy saw it coming, so I don't see whats a huge deal out of it. love happens for a reason. when its there, it will be there. when its gone, its gone.

as long as I am happy / happier. Well I am, despite it only being half a year or more (last year, beginning of this year?) yes, it started way earlier, see what I mean by people who only listen to one party & then judge? welcome to reality. ok back to where I was, yes I am alot happier, things were much real, it wasn't fullofshit. though it was fucking complicated, rocky, shaky but we been through it all. despite losing friends (yes, of course this would happen), yet I don't understand & will never understand. isn't a best friend supposed to stick by you, listen to your explaination rather than just listen to whatever that idiot said & come up with your own conclusion. as much as I think I owe that person an explanation, but would he even listen? hell no, because his mind is polluted with bullshit & nothing can change that. I believe time heal things. but this time, will time heal that wound?

ok. this is going no where hence I should stop.

shall continue some other time when I feel like it.

Incase you are wondering if I am pissed or anything, I am not. (:

ps : I am tired from all these nightmares I had. I really am.

Friday, November 06, 2009

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 08:15:20 GMT

why is my hair not so red ah. boohoo. its like brown now. eeeeeeee.

oh the joy of being able to sleep well without having to worry for exams. ;)

one more paper to go. yes lah!

need to start planning for holidays soon.

gee. i wonder if the sales started. lols. shopping spree, here I come.

sometimes.

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 08:00:26 GMT

i wonder.

O.O commonwealth just offered a credit limit increase

limit is now 2.5k. not bad not bad.

but I am broke -.-

I have got uncollected debts worth of 1k. lol.

</3

again.

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 05:42:16 GMT

Once again, I screwed my exams timetable up -___-

I thought 3rd was a Wednesday but only realised today that 3rd is actually TOMORROW. sigh.

Why does this kinda thing always happen to me. dahlah last sem I studied for the wrong subject. this sem -.-

grrr. its so fucking hot its giving me a headache.

Once again, lend me loads of luck & I will give you back at 12.30 pm tmr. rofll.

):

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 04:23:14 GMT

is it just me or what?! I feel that I am somehow back in Malaysia where it is oh-so-fucking-hot and humid. wadafark.

only difference, I can blast my air-conditional back at home. I don't even have a freaking fan here. well there is one that comes with the heater. but meh. useless shit!

time to shower with ice now. no wait I just did.

ugh. not good not good, that explains all the nightmares I had plus this super tired me ):

I don.t handle heat well as if its too hot, I do get nightmares when I am sleeping. sigh.

I know it doesn't really make sense but guess what, my housemate gets nightmare when its too hot too. yay! i.m not alone.

daddy, buy me air cond please.

ps : I owe dad 5 digit figures for my imported heels. HOLY crap. and I thought I could own a Chanel bag with my own money when I go back. now that totally explained why I felt so damn rich.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 12:26:35 GMT

oh hi.

how was my paper? totally fucked. i have never seen those questions that were being asked before neither have we learned it in tutes.

saw loads of comments on my tutor's wall. and well, he did not expect it to be so absofuckinglutely hard too. and he said not to worry cause if too many people failed it, marks will be scaled. -.-

saw from one of the comments that the lecturer say its real finance. define REAL finance, trying to say that those tutorial questions are fake finance? wth! or was it just merely actuarial kind of finance. wtf.

well, at least its good to know that i'm not alone.

*pats*

no, I don't ever wanna redo this unit anymore. ugh.

mum&dad, I'm sorry I disappointed you. again.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 16:54:53 GMT

Paper starting in few hours time ):

&& seriously my maths suck so badly that dear laugh at me sometimes. but is really patient when he's teaching me.

time to nap and continue studying later.

ihatefinance. i have no idea whythefuck i love torturing myself

wish me luck. and I need loads of it.

lend me all, I'll give you back after my paper :D :D